I was inspired by an article by motivational speaker and former NFL player Trent Shelton about how to protect our peace in a noisy world. He asserts that “protecting our peace isn’t a catch phrase but a lifeline in a world filled with noise and endless demands.” As I do with almost everything, I read his tips and wisdom through the lens of parenting. Here are some of the key takeaways from an interview with him and how his ideas might help us as parents:
He says protecting our peace involves protecting our energy, protecting our mind, and protecting our soul. Why is it important for us as parents to protect our energy?
Trent says, “A lot of times, we think we have an infinite amount of energy, which we don’t. We give our energy away so freely. And what ends up happening is you don’t have energy for yourself.”
As you well know by now, when our energy is drained, we are much more likely to lose our cool with our kids. Those are the times we yell or say and do things we regret. I resonate with this personally and I see many clients in my therapy practice who also experience this challenge. They over-give and then when they are depleted, they blow like a volcano, spewing the emotional equivalent of hot lava spraying down on their loved ones.
Here’s what Trent has to say about that:
A lot of people struggle with choosing themselves first because of guilt and worry. So they abandon their boundaries, saying yes when they really want to say no. They end up feeling exhausted. What I’ve found is that when you truly prioritize yourself first, it not only benefits you but also those who depend on you to be your best – like your kids, spouse, or workplace. So, if you’re feeling guilty about saying no, remember it’s not a rejection of the other person; it’s a yes to your mental well-being and your energy.
Here are a few realistic strategies for protecting your peace while raising kids:
- Nurture yourself while you nurture your kids. This can be done in simple ways by getting extra cozy with a blanket, making your favorite drink, lighting a candle, or putting on great music before sitting down to read stories, help with homework, or hear about their day.
- Make shower time a little sweeter by lighting a candle and putting on nice music. This is a micro-move that takes almost no extra time but can leave you feeling a little more peaceful.
- Find pockets of drive-time where you can pull over, get a drive-through yummy drink or snack, and allow yourself some time in your car to read, pray, think, listen to music, meditate…. Whatever feels nourishing to you.
- Even if it’s only a few pages, put your phone down and pause to read something that is purely for your enjoyment last thing at night or first thing in the morning.
- Soak in 10 minutes of sunshine in the mornings. Look up, look around. Honor how hard you are working to give your kids the best life possible. It doesn’t have to be perfect to be good enough.
Trent reminds us that “true success is fulfillment in doing what you love with who you love”… and that “fulfillment is an inside job.”
If you’d like to read more, check out his book, “Protect Your Peace: Unapologetic Principles for Thriving in a Chaotic World” by Trent Shelton.
Wishing you the experience of taking action to protect your peace.
