You got me today…Palmer 🤗
I don’t know about you, but being intentional in life feels harder than it looks. Everywhere you turn, it’s “Just do X, and life will be great!” Whether it’s social media, magazines at the checkout line, or well-meaning advice, they make it sound so simple.
I recently learned that the second Friday of every year is called “National Quitters Day.” And while I don’t love that this has its own day, it makes sense. On January 1st, we’re locked in and ready to live more intentionally. But just a couple of weeks later, enough people have given up that there’s a label for it.
We all have our reasons for not following through on goals or changes. Maybe it’s “I’m too busy because my family’s schedule is packed,” or “Once I figure out X, we’ll have more time.” I know that list well. I’ve mastered convincing myself that I’m too stretched to prioritize the things I know would make a difference.
Then, there’s another list: the exceptions we make that take up more time than we realize. Scrolling through social media for a “quick break,” TV shows that take over family time, or weekends where everyone drifts into their own routines because getting the family to do something else feels like too much of a fight.
One thing that tends to take up an outsized amount of time in most families’ lives is screen time. It’s easy, free, doesn’t involve cleanup, and lets us shut our brains off for a while. A few scrolls here, a game there, or an afternoon binge-watch – no big deal, right?
But here’s the thing: research shows that once screen time goes over 60 minutes a day, it starts to take a toll on family closeness, relationships, and mental health. Anxiety, depression, irritability, and struggles with focus all become more common.
Screens often don’t recharge us the way we think they do. Sure, they might take the edge off stress or bring the family together for a while. But over time, they create a system of collective disengagement, a cycle where everyone is physically present but mentally checked out.
So how can we become more intentional about screen time in a way that defies the essence of “National Quitters Day”?
I’ll share what I am doing and offer some ideas for you to consider:
After years of saying, “I wish I had more energy to do X” while spending hours a day on screens, my wife and I decided to cut out social media for an entire year. On top of that, I’ve committed to no TV, movies, or any other video content unless I’m watching with friends or family. It’s been 12 days, and while it’s been uncomfortable at times, I’m already noticing some really cool things coming from it.
Here are a few ideas or ways to spark conversations about how your family can be more intentional with screen tim
- Create a “tech-free evening” once a week where everyone does something together with no screens allowed.
- Ask your kids to share what they know about the negative impacts of screen time.
- Decide on phone-free zones, like the dinner table or the car, to encourage conversation.
- Ask your kids at the dinner table to write out a few non-screen activities they would be interested in doing more often (bowling, hiking, lazer tag, cooking, game night, etc.)
- Set up screen time passcodes to help keep you accountable. Have someone else set the code for you so you can’t bypass it. For your kids, have a conversation about limits and find a middle ground on what feels right to you as their parent and what they have been accustomed to. I have my wife set my passcode because otherwise, I struggle to adhere to them.😅
Also, a little insight for you as a parent, almost every kid I work with feels they are on screens too much and want to be better about them but feel so trapped. So, through intentional conversations, you might get them to share how they want those changes for themselves. Prepare for some push back, it’s your kids job to make your job of parenting harder.😂
What I tell myself is “You will not look back on your life and wish you had spent more on screens and less in the present moment with people you care about.”
The goal isn’t to cut out all screens or feel guilty. It’s to shift toward moments of intentional connection. Small changes can lead to big impacts when they’re consistent and meaningful.
This is all a lot easier said than done, so please ask questions or reach out for support.
Grateful for your intention 🙂
Kerry and Palmer
