Palmer here!
I just ran across one of countless notes that my mom tucked under my pillow or into my backpack on some random day when I was in high school.
Just recently, a good friend told me how each week, he writes three letters to different people in his life, telling each what he appreciates about them. That was the coolest thing I had heard in a long time. I love this idea because when I was growing up, my mom would slip notes into various places for me and my brothers to discover. Back then, it just seemed normal and I didn’t think much of it. Now that I reflect on it, it meant a lot and helped us feel more connected, especially through some of our bumpier times.
Parents feel so much pressure to make sure their kids do their homework, get their chores done, behave in public, don’t fight with their siblings, and the other 1,724 things parents manage. The reason for doing all those things, which is love for your child, can get lost in translation. You parents do those things out of love and because you care. If you didn’t care about your kids, you wouldn’t be so invested in helping them turn out to be loving, responsible, and respectful humans. If your kids are anything like I was as a kid/teen, they don’t fully grasp what an act of love it is to do all the things you do. Kids can even end up feeling anger, resentment, irritability, and at times, unloved or unwanted from all the directing, bossing, and badgering that parents do. When my mom would be frustrated with me because she was called in to the school yet again because I’d been put in detention in high school but then say, “I love you and care about you,” it just felt like something she said for herself and I’d forget she said it 2 seconds later.
So how do you get your kids to really feel how much you love them while you’re in the midst of big challenges raising them? I’m inviting you to take a few minutes to write a letter or quick note that captures how much you love and care about them. A letter is a tangible expression of love that I believe is capable of penetrating much deeper into a person’s heart and mind. A kid might have a harder time ignoring your words in a letter than words spoken in passing while they’re getting a snack in the kitchen. Letters and notes can become part of a paper trail for them to look back upon as they get older and can see the depth of your love for them.
If I could give one tip on writing the letter, it would be to avoid saying, “I push you to do your homework because I care.” Instead, just write about the things you love, admire, and appreciate about them. It can be short, sweet, and simple. Or it can be more in depth. I encourage you to not wait until tomorrow, it won’t take very long so just do it now.
Now that I’m 26 and am finally starting to realize how much my parents loved and did for me, I get excited thinking about kids being able to feel all the love their parents have for them because it is one of the coolest things in the world.
Have a great rest of your Sunday and I hope your letter writing goes well. 😉
